HARDWORK PAYS OFF!

And look what I got in the mail!!

i'm so happy ^^

This whole year of my schooling life, I know that I've done it all through God's strength. And the hard work I've put in throughout the year gained me this!

Although I couldn't receive any money, but yes I am so happy ^^

He is all.

Wow...I really can't express myself.

Just went through two weeks of planning for worship and sermon. 

I have one word to sum it all up despite the tears I've shed.

BLESSED.

Blessed to have friends to support me, blessed to have a boyfriend who comes down tired from school to support me. A pastor to joke around with and help me alongside with.

And of course, to be a SERVANT for God. 

So many emotional feelings of ups and downs. It hasn't been easy, but manz how joyful the stressful process was (ironic isn't it?). And definitely I will be patient and wait to see the fruits of my labour.

Who could ever ask for more when God has used me to glorify His name.

I'm really thankful how God doesn't even need us but yet he loves and still uses us for His works.

That is very comforting, and my motivation to do so much more for Him.

All into His hands

There are just many differebt things that we get to do every day, month and year.

Yesterday was one of them (:

It's not my first time worship leading, well just like the third time haha. Wasn't an easy process as usual, especially after coming back so late everyday all tired and yet with homework and revision to be done.

Yeaterday, I was so stressed. My usual band members weren't around to play in the band and had a fight with my mum again because of the stress. Well yea I probably didn't handle it as well as I should have. Thankful for Tiffy and Siling though for being there, knowing something was up and supporting me just before band prac.

I've never really experienced what it really means to let God control a worship and give it all into His hands. But I definitely had to yesterday. 

It's still in the learning process, and not easy as well to just give it all to him without having that conscious effort to take matters into my own hands.

There will come a time when the natural instinct is not to flee but to be still and pray.

There will come a time when I've learnt that the natural instinct is to give it all up to Him and not try too hard with my own strength.

It is such a good provess whenever worship leading is involved. The though process, the band prac. Tiring yes, but when I'm up there, being just someone able to lead the congregation into worship the God we all love. 

I really can't ask for more but just constant learning and more of His love :')

SOSD Flag Day 2014

It was Save Our Streetdogs (SOSD) flag day last Sunday! Signed up with my dear Ben here haha. The next year, all churhies are coming along as well!! HAHA

Well, it was a meaningful time. Although my legs were aching at the end. Had some good talks with Ben too (: 

Of course we got to see em gorgeous puppies and being able to raise funds for these dogs are just wonderful! 

Well, so my lectures are gonna start and gonna be busy with OSVAP at ACRES and all and then family trip to Perth! ^^ so excited!

Oh gosh plus just got a text from the cell leaders, we gonna have cell retreat at the end of the year!! OMGOSH so excited ^^ 

Really pray that Ben will finally join BPMC because he really likes it and wants to commit. I thank God for the journey He has bought me through with Ben so far and have (hopefully) bought us so much closer being in the same church. I'll continue praying for his spiritual growth! I know everything will go awesome because God's in control haha (:

Alright seeya! :D

Chance after chance

I have no idea how many times this has happened in my life, probably for others out there too.

Sometimes I just say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing that I promised myself not to do in the past. It sucks to see yourself as such a weak person serious. I tell someone 'I'm sorry' but yet it wouldn't take long before it happens again, or probably something else to hurt the person. Have you ever felt this way?

I then I feel like I'm inadequate.

Which obviously sucks.

But my eyes are also turned back to God. I can never say that it's easy. Walking with Him is hard, sometimes getting harder as time goes by. But i can honestly say joy in Him increases day by day as well.

I can never have enough motivation, strength, courage to wipe away the tears I shes every now and then. It's too tiring to always try to please someone no matter how hard I try. Ok, probably trying too hard or trying the wrong way.

But really...I will never succeed without God. I'm not some 'holy facade'. Yes I'm a sinner, but I really hope to change from my ways and grow up to be someone whom God intends me to be.

Is it me? Or just me?

Sometimes, I'm not sure if I'm being plain selfish or just unreasonable or too sensitive or maybe I'm actually fine.

Have you ever felt that way? Well yea I do...a lot of times.

I mean like there are times when you really want the best for someone, yet somewhere in the back of your mind you want it because it makes yourself feel happy. ALERT ALERT doesn't that count as selfishness already? 

And then there are certain things that you sometimes expect someone else to do to you. But meh it turns out way differently. So I can annoyed/mad/sad, ALERT ALERT. Doesn't that count as selfishness too? 

It's hard honestly...to think for the better of others without putting yourself in the picture. Well I struggle with that even till now...for a really long time.

It sucks.

But I guess slowly...with the right people, the right self-consciousness and discipline, I think I would get there eventually.

Sunshine mixed up with a little hurricane