HARDWORK PAYS OFF!

And look what I got in the mail!!

i'm so happy ^^

This whole year of my schooling life, I know that I've done it all through God's strength. And the hard work I've put in throughout the year gained me this!

Although I couldn't receive any money, but yes I am so happy ^^

He is all.

Wow...I really can't express myself.

Just went through two weeks of planning for worship and sermon. 

I have one word to sum it all up despite the tears I've shed.

BLESSED.

Blessed to have friends to support me, blessed to have a boyfriend who comes down tired from school to support me. A pastor to joke around with and help me alongside with.

And of course, to be a SERVANT for God. 

So many emotional feelings of ups and downs. It hasn't been easy, but manz how joyful the stressful process was (ironic isn't it?). And definitely I will be patient and wait to see the fruits of my labour.

Who could ever ask for more when God has used me to glorify His name.

I'm really thankful how God doesn't even need us but yet he loves and still uses us for His works.

That is very comforting, and my motivation to do so much more for Him.

All into His hands

There are just many differebt things that we get to do every day, month and year.

Yesterday was one of them (:

It's not my first time worship leading, well just like the third time haha. Wasn't an easy process as usual, especially after coming back so late everyday all tired and yet with homework and revision to be done.

Yeaterday, I was so stressed. My usual band members weren't around to play in the band and had a fight with my mum again because of the stress. Well yea I probably didn't handle it as well as I should have. Thankful for Tiffy and Siling though for being there, knowing something was up and supporting me just before band prac.

I've never really experienced what it really means to let God control a worship and give it all into His hands. But I definitely had to yesterday. 

It's still in the learning process, and not easy as well to just give it all to him without having that conscious effort to take matters into my own hands.

There will come a time when the natural instinct is not to flee but to be still and pray.

There will come a time when I've learnt that the natural instinct is to give it all up to Him and not try too hard with my own strength.

It is such a good provess whenever worship leading is involved. The though process, the band prac. Tiring yes, but when I'm up there, being just someone able to lead the congregation into worship the God we all love. 

I really can't ask for more but just constant learning and more of His love :')

SOSD Flag Day 2014

It was Save Our Streetdogs (SOSD) flag day last Sunday! Signed up with my dear Ben here haha. The next year, all churhies are coming along as well!! HAHA

Well, it was a meaningful time. Although my legs were aching at the end. Had some good talks with Ben too (: 

Of course we got to see em gorgeous puppies and being able to raise funds for these dogs are just wonderful! 

Well, so my lectures are gonna start and gonna be busy with OSVAP at ACRES and all and then family trip to Perth! ^^ so excited!

Oh gosh plus just got a text from the cell leaders, we gonna have cell retreat at the end of the year!! OMGOSH so excited ^^ 

Really pray that Ben will finally join BPMC because he really likes it and wants to commit. I thank God for the journey He has bought me through with Ben so far and have (hopefully) bought us so much closer being in the same church. I'll continue praying for his spiritual growth! I know everything will go awesome because God's in control haha (:

Alright seeya! :D

Chance after chance

I have no idea how many times this has happened in my life, probably for others out there too.

Sometimes I just say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing that I promised myself not to do in the past. It sucks to see yourself as such a weak person serious. I tell someone 'I'm sorry' but yet it wouldn't take long before it happens again, or probably something else to hurt the person. Have you ever felt this way?

I then I feel like I'm inadequate.

Which obviously sucks.

But my eyes are also turned back to God. I can never say that it's easy. Walking with Him is hard, sometimes getting harder as time goes by. But i can honestly say joy in Him increases day by day as well.

I can never have enough motivation, strength, courage to wipe away the tears I shes every now and then. It's too tiring to always try to please someone no matter how hard I try. Ok, probably trying too hard or trying the wrong way.

But really...I will never succeed without God. I'm not some 'holy facade'. Yes I'm a sinner, but I really hope to change from my ways and grow up to be someone whom God intends me to be.

Is it me? Or just me?

Sometimes, I'm not sure if I'm being plain selfish or just unreasonable or too sensitive or maybe I'm actually fine.

Have you ever felt that way? Well yea I do...a lot of times.

I mean like there are times when you really want the best for someone, yet somewhere in the back of your mind you want it because it makes yourself feel happy. ALERT ALERT doesn't that count as selfishness already? 

And then there are certain things that you sometimes expect someone else to do to you. But meh it turns out way differently. So I can annoyed/mad/sad, ALERT ALERT. Doesn't that count as selfishness too? 

It's hard honestly...to think for the better of others without putting yourself in the picture. Well I struggle with that even till now...for a really long time.

It sucks.

But I guess slowly...with the right people, the right self-consciousness and discipline, I think I would get there eventually.

Sunshine mixed up with a little hurricane

Wish list

Hello my loves! 

Well, recently I have been wanting a lot of stuff hahaha!! Ok that's not a good thing...but I mean Christmas is round the corner and my Birthday too? (Heh)

I've been wanting soooo many books whenever I walk into a bookstore >< think U'm gonna buy all the books I want in a go (from Fishpond.com probably) and slowly read them hehe :D

And of course, I still really really wanna get the black inifnity shirt by ATC ahhhhh ><

And other random stuff like more sportswear!! And manz new running shoes are always so nice haha!

Well, I don't normally make wish lists...and somehow don't think it's a really good thing either to keep wanting so many stuff...><

On a side note, I really gotta start studying already...seriously. Getting so lazy now how in the wide wide world am I gonna catch up haha >< 

So now it's time for me to sleep.

Say gooDAnights to Blue Spots the leopard (yea I name my soft toys)

And tata! ^^

Treat your body right

Skinny =/= Healthy

I used to not dare to workout too much because I really don't like my body to look buffed up etc. But now just aiming towards LEAN HEALTHY TONED. Have been trying to tone up my legs because (well girls usually store their fats there I presume haha!) 

I'm not a work out freak haha! Trust me I get so lazy to take out the gym mat and what not. But after meal times at home started to get more and more healthy and my mum encouraged exercise etc. I started to get into it. 

I mean, I've been running for ages, I like it but I see no improvement to my strength or anything.

One day I came upon this woman called Kayla Itsines. She's such an inspiration! I'm starting on her Bikini Body Guide 1.0 after getting her ebook for only SG$3 on Carousell!! heh heh xP

I could see much more improvement in my strength now (I can do almost 10 push ups in a row when I couldn't even do one!) 'guy push ups' that is :D

Really can't wait to see the results after 12weeks. It's hard work, but manz a workout for 28minutes, 3times a week is not that hard now is it? (:

Be TONED, HEALTHY, and definitely not buff haha! (:

Blessings (:

J2 here I go!

Well! So here are my results! Something I'm actually quite proud of (apart from Literature and GP cause I worked quite hard for them...especially Lit ><)

But I'm really satisfied nonetheless. 

God's glory must take center stage in His work/ministry. 

I really have only Him to thank. I worked so hard and had such good company of friends in school and church, experiences to Cambridge and even being able to catch up with work after that yet having a great time, my Darling Ben ❤️, being able to have sustained good grades and many more.

Gosh...Truly I know I could never have worked hard consistently for a year without You. Well, next year is one hectic hectic year. Though I feel like it'll only become unbearable if I don't start working hard now. The cycle keeps going on and on, but honestly it's really wuite fun when I start to see how God is working through the seasons (:

I really hope everyone out there has had (and still having) a great 2014. It's 2015 next year, can't wait to see the good God has install for me (:

Date out! ^^

Another date out today with Ben ^^

Yea we went to Katong for lunch after my tuition and then headed back home to have dinner with my family (cause we needed to practice guitar ><)

Haha! I thought it was fun, Ben playing and me singing and wheeee~ haha!

Well, I'm starting to study again now. Really gotta get down to doing it or else I'm very sure I would regret.

Well...I've also not gotten round to keeping up with people I wanna keep up with...haish. Kinda bad at multiple people...shall start with one first.

It's a nice day today nonetheless (:

And..(this is random) but I can't wait for Christmas! :D 

Thankfulness. Blessed ~

Well, it's late at night (or to me it is haha)

A long time since I've posted but here's one (finally)

Have been truly blessed with many things this year. Actually every year I think I'm blessed, just different seasons, different kinds.

Firstly, of course, I'm truly thankful for such a wonderful boyfriend and best friend I have in my life. Things were definitely not easy, ever since everything started again I see how God has blessed me with such a wonderful special one. Having spent a couple more times with my family for dinner and just baking a cake hehe >< 

And of course, what I'm truly thankful is that Ben may be considering joining my church which is what I've been praying for since a while ago. I love him so much and will always do.

Secondly, is my J1 year (: well retaining is never really easy at the start. Pride has always been an issue for me (I mean everyone slowly doscovering that you've reayained ain't no easy issue to face haha><) 

But I'm doing way better in school now and got back my promo papers (which I'm very sure I'll be promoted already!)

And honestly having such great friends is really quite awesome (:

Well, things have been going well this year and bow finally got some time to catch up on what I wanna do (: 

Things install for me this holiday! (Although still gotta study) but I'm really thankful for all (:

Well...I think a lot about my friends (especially my secondary school friends) they have been the closest to me, but there has always been a gap. And a very important and crucial gap.

That is anotger reason why I value Ben so much...for knowing me through my secondary, JC and spiritual life. Something that I'm really sad to come to face that is something I find hard in.

I've had a huge burden for my friends. Trying to reach out to people ain't easy, and it's fear on my part as well. I really hope that from this holiday onwards I'll work on myself and that's one way to reach out to my friends. Well, not hope but pray...God will definitely be there to help me. I just gotta take the first step

Of course, not just saying/blogging about it but really doing it haha. Slowly but surely!

This year has been a blast. 

It's not over yet, but with God I'm excited for whatever else (:

Seeing how You're working God, is amazing ^^

Not only in my life, but the lives of others as well! 

I'm not dead! Haha! I think I have loads to post but I shall do this after exams (: stay tuned! Haha!

We are running~

An after running post! Ok the picture looks weird and all but I'm not gonna take a selfie >< HAHA!

Emphasis is...these sport shoes are awesome! They served (and are still serving) me well ^^

So have been training my stamina and core muscles for many months now, and manz the results are really great >< I feel much more stronger in my core area now :D

Now it's just my arms...always thought they are fine and all...but hello I can't even do 1 proper full push up >< WORK IN PROGRESS! Never been able to do over 5 push ups on knees, but now doing them so much easier already!

Determination, Motivation, Patience, and Consistence Consistence Consistence!!! 

I'm gonna do at least 10 FULL push ups by the end of the year!! :D

Bright and sunny~

Hello my loves ^^ just a selfie taken in church cause planning and worshipping God is a joy :D

Ahem I honestly don't wanna cut my hair..heh

SP's studio!

Went to visit my sweet dear on Friday after school at SP! Haha like finally got to see is school after like close to 2 years. 

Wellz it was awesome to be in a studio and seeing him work all the what nots and stuff that I just see on television hahahaha!

Well but yes went they mainly to just study, figure out my worship plans and just singing along randomly. It was a fun day hehe (:

IMPACT 1

Yesterday to sum it all up, was a really interesting, better than I expected, tiring but fun day at church ^^ 

So invited Belle and Berek for the event. Finally (: always had quite a burden for belle buuuuut somehow didn't have the chance to do so, so at least I didn't make one. So like a day before the event I suddenly just wanted to ask Berek along as well (:

Haish sadly Belle couldn't come suddenly. First time I guess I could really feel the spiritual warfare, like manz why the last minute? Buuut this isn't gonna be the last :D hehe Berek could still make it and though it started off slow, we were are tired after the end cause the game was really interesting and stuff (: 

Nonetheless I had a great time with 'my family' meeting new people, and having such great Chemistry with Sean while we shared our testimonials in interview form (that's what Siling said haha). 

This is just the start, I believe God calledour  church into this season of Impact 1, there will be great harvest at the end of it all. 

Just wait and see, because God's timing is spot on 100% accurate :D

Date out with ❤

Thought it was such a fun day today (:

Met up after/before Ben's school

Ate something different like finally from Sushi Burrito at Tanjong Pagar and got Anderson's ice cream xP

He ate run and raisin I ate Bailey's haha! Such alcoholic ice creams!

So we saw The MindCafe and went in it was really fun ^^ spent like 3 hours there playing games haha!!

Haha and the funniest part was when Ben had 4 babies while

Playing the LIFE game HAHA

 

Yea it had been a great and fun day out after my last paper ^^

Takes quite a while for me to respect someone even if you're way older than me. Is that a mean thing? I don't really know.

Although you're much older than me and have some kinda position...don't think you can meet me outta the blue any random time of the day, expect me to say something when you've already made up your mind. The thing is, I don't trust you and respect you enough to give you any of my respect back to you. So whatever you're gonna say, save it.

Cell outing!

Cell outing at Sentosa today! Chilled around, played ball, frisbee, played the ukulele and picnic-ed! 

Well what else to say but just had a great time as usual ^^

 

Rants...

All those random quotes on facebook, insta, twitter, literally anywhere...kinda feeling that most of them are like emotional porn. They make you feel like it's what reality should be. As in like does a guy really have to be there to wipe the tears from your eyes, hold the door open for you, feel extremely guilty because he made you cry, give you flowers on your birthday, anniversary, or whatever Monthsary thing (that didn't even exist in the first place)? 

Well I have to admit it these things are nice...but they just don't happen every single day in reality. 

So porn is bad...well emotional porn is just as bad when it disrupts your view on reality and stuff, and kinda just let yourself drown in self pity etc.

I was like that too...expecting things from people I see from pictures, movies, cleverly wrriten down words. But who am I to even expect anything from others? Plus after everything, I see how love isn't really about just feelings alone (because feelings come and go, they deceive) but it's really about a choice. I mean who cares if the guy doesn't do what guys do in movies and stuff, or even your friend's boyfriend/girlfriend? If you can live without it, if he's good enough and he loves you in his own way...then probably stop reading those weird quotes from the social media and start improving on yourself....

Faithful God by Laura Story

May the grace that sought my heart on that first day

Be the grace that binds my heart to stay
May the truth that opened up my eyes on that first time
Be the thoughts on my mind that never go away

For You are a lamp to my feet
A light to my path
You're the hand that's holding me

Faithful God, every promise kept
Every need You've met, faithful God

May the love that caught my heart to set it free
Be the love that others see in me
And may this hope that reaches to the depths of human need
Be the song that I sing in joy and suffering

For You are the love that never leaves
The friend that won't deceive
You're the one sure thing

Faithful God, every promise kept
Every need You've met, faithful God
All I am and all I'll ever be
Is all because You love faithfully
Faithful God

How deep, how wide the love
That pierced His side, the love
Redemption's mine, oh love
That will not let me go
How deep Your love

How deep, how wide the love
That pierced His side, the love
Redemption's mine, oh love
That will not let me go

How deep, how wide the love
That pierced His side, the love
Redemption's mine, oh love
That will not let me go

Faithful God, every promise kept
Every need You've met, faithful God
All I am and all I'll ever be
Is all because You love faithfully
Faithful God, faithful God~

Such a pretty song, and I love the lyrics.

Praise you God (: you'll really the only thing I need and live for ❤

Family church camp!

First ever church camp with the whole family! Ok can't take a picture with my parents now cause there are at the front of the car haha! 

So yep on the way to JB for da very first time HAHA! Following Michy's car infront haha!

Hope we'll have a great time there! Excited ^^ 

Random

Cause it's finally jogging at Pasir Ris park day! :D 

Put on those shoes

Listen to the music

Gonna run run run....until the wind knocks me down

Don't care where I'm going

Don't care who cares

Don't even wanna think who's looking for me

Cause no matter where I go

I'm certain He's there

No matter where or how I fall

He'll see me through

Don't care where I run to

Don't care who I love

Cause my heart's big enough to hold the things so dear

No one can hurt me for long, no more

Cause only one thing matters

And is only Him

Health, Motivation, Love, The Almighty

Leg still injured and unable to bent properly haish...has been kinda long since these legs went out for a run. Buuuut this annoying scab ain't stopping me! Still trying to eat as healthily as possible! (but manz my weakness is ice cream hehe) and training myself on commandos and mountain climbers, and of course trying to tone these arms as well (: 

Reakly satisfied with the results I have so far ^^ I'm thankfully not bulking up at all thanks to Kayla Itsines body training guide, now my stomach's flatter, leaning and leading a healthier lifestyle :D

Well this ain't all for me anyways. Hoping to be a motivation for my friends out there, and running with them every once in a while inbetween breaks at school (:

Well so just a little update here and there, went to GDOP and they were talking about love for the world and all. Manz so glad I went for it ^^ have been inclined to go into social work course in NUS so far. Doing things like SPCA and Touch are really great avenues (: and applying for an outstanding student work attachment programme! Hopefully please please lemme get in >< haha!

And yesh gonna be a mentor at Touch this June hopeully things aren't as scary as they seem and I'll do a good job and enjoy myself :D and yay Ben will be there too for mentoring! :D

Honestly, the past is the past and I think people are gonna think I'm crazy for doing this...but gonna pray and seek more. Don't really feel like it's crazy either...I mean I still have so much love to pour out to you, to the people around me. God already forgave you, what more can I do? It's honestly so much easier to love then reject. Hopefully it's not only what I really want, but what God wants as well (: Lead me to your will O God ^^ 

No one I believe could ever love me like you did. And there's no one I believe I can love as much as I did to you.

Motivation!

It didn't take days nor weeks nor months of vigorous exercise to finally see the results I wanted!

Well have been really motivated by my mum and few of my friends to do this (: Striving primarily to feel physically healthy inside and of course in turn look good on the outside :D 

Exercising is really not everything. I did that for months but with poor diet for months without any results. Tweaking my diet and just being a little more conscious of what I eat really did get me where I am today :D

Of course I'm not the type who randomly shows pictures of my belly LOL but I'm proud of this so yay progress for getting a flatter tummy and better stamina! ^^ can't wait to see more results!

I miss you, so much.

Sometimes I wonder what God is doing....he takes away Ben...in the midst of it He took away another of my close friend as well. 

I'm still figuring out what all these mean

Wishful thinking on my part

Honestly, I had guts something like that would happen yesterday. Well I didn't expect it since the day before you said 'see you on Friday'. Only thing that's comforting is just to tell myself it was something you couldn't get out of. Well...who am I kidding, it's not the first time you did this. I guess the worst part is not even telling me personally...

Well honestly I still had a fun night, although everytime I smile, I just wish in my heart you'll be the one making me do it.

 No one knows this probably, but I know that if you ever come back to me, I'm afraid I won't be able to reject you. Wishful thinking on my part, don't blame me. Though you've hurt me, kinda makes me love you the same..~

La Risonanza IV ❤

Family ^^

Sopranos! (Well half of them haha!)

Anna Marie! Sopranos for life!

Dance partners! :D

To all the awesome people who came to watch La Risonanza IV yesterday ^^ I had a really wonderful time and it was because of you guys coming down to watch, I could pull through those hectic and tiring practices almost 5 days a week! Thank you all so much ^^ 

Oh and to KaiKang who was such a fun dance partner haha! 

Have I not moved on?

I thought it'll be easy really cause the thought of you and the memories though still there so vivid, is numb.

But once I'm faced with the issue on relationships again suddenly everything starts to shut slowly. Even a hint, a glance, I'm so edgy. 

I can still love like of course. But ability is different from wanting.

I'm far far far away from opening up to anything or anyone (I mean not like I would have to right?) cause when something  triggers, I know I don't have the energy to give the same kind of love to another human how I gave to you. 

It sounds so pessimistic honestly, I don't plan to shut down.

But I can't help it, I've tried and it sucks. It sucks that till right now my mind can't help but drift to certain memories. Memories that I want to relieve again, the infinite 'I Love You's I want to say, to just look at you like how I do everytime we meet....

It sucks big time to be in this situation where I'm just thinking about you, and it scares me. Have I not moved on?

Dogs

I feel lonely sometimes even when people are around me. Even when I'm smiling or laughing for that period of time, afterwards 'reality' dawns on me again. Sounds emo LOL but doubt I'm the only one feeling this haha.

I mean people can make you smile, but not everyone loves you.

Dogs are different. Though they aren't great creatures to converse with in words, something in them seems to make me feel better. Probably why I always wanna be with them when I'm feeling not myself. Dogs really are creatures that when you look at them, just a little effort (way less than humans) you can earn their acceptance and a pat on the head or chest shows them love. And manz you know they love you no matter what haha.

And of course, being with a dog gives me time to just dwell on things or sometimes gives me space for my mind to literally go blank haha.

Such a random post (well aren't all my posts this random?) 

I keep staring at the poem I wrote, I think it's the first and sweetest one. It was suppose to be given to you on 26 May....but now it's just here in my hands and what I wrote for a month will never mean anything to you anymore..

Easter Sunday!

Today's Easter Sunday! Had a good time in church today, and the sermon spoke to me quite accurately one way or another! So happy for two of my cell members who got baptised too (:

Well school starts tomorrow again ><" haha the feeling of knowing that there's no school on the next day is actually really nice. 

Living life wild and free, really wanna know so much more about God but gotta put in even more effort than what I'm doing now~~

And took a selfie in the morning, because today's a happy day (: 

It's there in my head almost 24/7 still

But it's not hurt I feel, it's more of numb.

The loss I feel whenever I think about.

But I know it's different at your side.

These days are those days you just sit and wonder what could have been

But I mean it's done, what is left to ponder still?

The feeling of cards folded and thrown away still lies.

Resentment comes and goes...deep ones. But no one is to blame...I should have known better.

Look at the one above, what do I think He would do? It's painfully hard, not sure if anyone can ever understand but Him alone. 

I mean..I doubt anyone can heal me even if you try. It's only me and Him alone.

All thing greeeeeen

Got new sports gear today!

greeeen sports shoes

greeeen sports bra 

And mum just boiled some greeeeen japanese beans for me after my run! Hehe

Oh wells running 1) gets your mind off things 2) allows some music time 3) gets the rush feeling of sweating it out 4) some fresh air 5) staying fit and have a tones body LOL

So if anyone wants to know 'why in the world I like to run' well that's your answer haha

Windows are red and stained with rain

The curtains are fluffed, trying to pat them down.

The wind fluffs them up more especially a big gust.

A gentle breeze makes it easier.

Confused, Angry, Hopeful, Waiting, Wondering, Love

Haish....it's hard really. 

Sometimes I'm fine, other days I'm not.

I gotta really just close my eyes and pray and pray. Comfort comes...but sometimes just for a while.

And then when that sharp pang comes, tears well up in my eyes and then subsides because hey no use crying.

I'm still waiting, and waiting sucks. Well waiting for something amazing is definitely worth waiting for. But then, there's so much uncertainty which makes waiting almost torturous for me.

And then everything boils down to trusting and knowing that God will do what He does. But then...what does it really mean to trust God? Can I ever trust Him completely?

Random blog post again.

Well this week went by not bad I would say. Though I'm so busy with three tests in a week, but finally they are over (: ok...have another two next week ><

Met Belle today to study (every thurs so far) haish....have not seen my Darling for quite some time now. I'm proud to see him volunteering so actively in TOUCH and making good use of his hoidays (: 

Haish....still it's been kinda long since we've met? I feel haha.

Infront of my desk

Penning down notes

Yet in my heart

I pen down thoughts

Cause I can't help it

Can you?

To think of you whenever I stop working

It's beautiful to hear your voice saying those words

Haha sometimes a brief distraction 

But always a real comfort

Mr Peabody movie!

Met up with my darling for movie yesterday at Tampines! Mr Peabody and Sherman ^^

Haha it was a really and funny show xP and I felt like a kid again because we were in a cinema filled with families with kids like 10 years younger than us HAHA!

Anyways, went back to the area near his house to have his hair cut and then ate at some coffee shop nearby ^^ haha walked back to his house and just chilled there for an hour or so before I went back home (: 

without my cinammon sugar that i bought for my bread ><" HAHA

It was a sweet day, and I'm glad we still love each other till this very day ❤

Confusion seeps in I've no idea what to feel. God please heal this aching heart of mine and tame this paranoid mind.

Not feeling any better..

I need answers and I'm desperate for them

I pray and really hope tomorrow's meeting will clear up thoughts...and the words will heal...and everything will just be alright again.

I just want someone to ask me how I am, sit beside me and just listen..

But the problem is, when someone asks I don't think I'll be able to say anything. How? Seriously get it together man...stop being such a child...

Reality is what scares people

Uncertainty is what scares us more

I'm a dump...sitting here staring

Thinking and feeling

I don't want to be like this

Ok maybe I'm just exaggerating 

But no, I'm not exaggerating these feelings

I remember when I used to smile a lot

People ask me why am I so cheerful

I was indeed happy

Yes now I do smile, but short-lived

No one can really figure out what I'm really thinking

Because even though I like sharing...it takes a lot to make me share

And no one has the time and patience for that..

Uncertainty is what scares me

Although sometimes it's exciting

But not when you get disappointed so many times

Because you're just hoping the result is a happy one, not sad

It's been a long time...I feel...since I felt so happy.

Well...ugh stop doing this to yourself ==

What do you mean...

Where is this heading

I'm scared and I'm heartbroken everywhere

Should I try harder

Yes you know I will

But will it be helpful

Or will it be harmful

What should I do

I know not how

But I'm still gonna try

I hope you do too...

Road race!

Yayyy Road race last Sat! One of the  events that I look forward to most in school :D

Alright so last year I had placing 48 and Choir won third! 

Well, this year....I got 28 in place!! Manz I'm really happy that all that training paid off and I'm enjoying every minute of it ^^ though....just 8 more people to get too 20 and win a medal ><

And sadly choir didn't win anything this year :( well it's ok, will try harder next year!! Hopefully I'll get too 20 ^^

Yearning

A week doesn't seem too long

7 days is what it is

Obvious? I think not

A week of tiredness

Day in, day out

Exhausted? I know it

A week of no touch

I dream every night

Yearning? I feel it

A week of less words

I feel love is less

Naked? I know it's not

A week of no face

Picture in my hand

Forget? Never will I

A week doesn't seem too long

7 days is what it is

Weakness is the patience

heartache is the yearning

A week doesn't seem too long

7 days is what it is

It's quite clear why our friendship cannot be continued.

Never upbringing, never uplifting.

Even when I'm not with you, you still can sting like no other.

I helped you in your problems when I did not have to over the phone. 

I didn't expect anything back in return, but only thought of it when you hurt me.

I've never had a friend who does this to me. 

I cried to my parents, my leaders, my dear.

I never breathed a word because I could bear it.

 And since I don't see you as often as before, there's even more reason not to.

I may seem fine and laugh about your jokes about me. 

That's only because remember and just pray to keep my patience in control.

But it's too much for me to bear this time.

I just gotta pen this all down.

You've hurt me already for a year, but you are not worth hurting for.

so true

but the greatest of these is Love ❤

Berek's Birthday!

Well celebrated Berek's birthday a few days ago and it was nice ^^

I think the beat part was actually having ze char together like a whole family at Elias Mall haha :D

Went to his house first to surprise him! Well yes the intention was meant to surprise, buuuut wasn't really successful HAHA. Though everything was still great!

PFU will be family always ❤

How is it

How is it that someone you love can bring you so much joy yet brings upon you the greatest of pain and sadness.

How is it that someone can be the warmest yet the coldest at times

How is it that someone can be the sweetest person on earth yet sting you with bitterness.

How is it that you can love someone so much that you still love him despite the frustration deep inside.

Impact 1

Well, so last night wasn't such an eventful night...

Heartbreaking I would say...and how hopeless I felt when it was thrown at me. Honestly I didn't want to believe it and the first reaction was to rebut, was to question, was to just say something...but nothing came out...guessed I was really too stunned...unable to help verbally.

I prayed yesterday, asking God why...though actually I think I know why.

Crying eased the unexplainable hurt and confusion, but there isn't any use. 

I'll keep praying, remembering the story of the prodigal son helps. 

A good friend will always be a good friend even if they change over the years. Loyalty and being unable to let go can sometimes hurt myself, but it can also mean that if someone stops fighting I'll fight for him, and I know that my dear LORD and God will never ever stop chasing and pulling His loved ones back.

I've seen God quite clearly through my years and mini miracles He did in my life. This may be a 'bigger' one, probably one that will take time even. But really, nothing is too big for Him...especially when I know He's someone who chases after the ones He loves.

Just keep praying...and with prayer comes action too. Impact One

Spirited Away the Joe Hisashi Ochestra

I have been looking forward to this day since when Berek told me about this Orchestra :D Manz can't thank him enough for finding this out and telling me about it! Haha ><

Anyways enjoyed myself yesterday with Berek, Chryston, Qi Feng, Phil, Belle and Ben. Although they were hiccups along the way where we were almost late and Berek and Chryston were rushing to get to Star Theatre ><

Have been and still am a fan of Joe Hisashi's music ever since I watched Spirited Away 3 or 2 years ago! 

Best part was the songs 'One Summer's Day' and 'Summer' which are songs I've been learning on piano!

Haha and the encore was great xP bet the orchestra (SSO) was already prepared for it haha!

So we ended late around 10 plus and wanted to go for ice cream! Buuuut it was so late so train-ed back home.

Hahahaha gosh Berek was so funny think he made everyone laughed there :D good times really. These friends cannot and never will be replaceable. I always think about them when making new friends and stuff, God really blessed me with these special people whom I know will be friends for life (:

Can't wait to have more musicals/orchestra!! :D MUSIC IS AWESOME!

No face!