Motivation!

It didn't take days nor weeks nor months of vigorous exercise to finally see the results I wanted!

Well have been really motivated by my mum and few of my friends to do this (: Striving primarily to feel physically healthy inside and of course in turn look good on the outside :D 

Exercising is really not everything. I did that for months but with poor diet for months without any results. Tweaking my diet and just being a little more conscious of what I eat really did get me where I am today :D

Of course I'm not the type who randomly shows pictures of my belly LOL but I'm proud of this so yay progress for getting a flatter tummy and better stamina! ^^ can't wait to see more results!

I miss you, so much.

Sometimes I wonder what God is doing....he takes away Ben...in the midst of it He took away another of my close friend as well. 

I'm still figuring out what all these mean

Wishful thinking on my part

Honestly, I had guts something like that would happen yesterday. Well I didn't expect it since the day before you said 'see you on Friday'. Only thing that's comforting is just to tell myself it was something you couldn't get out of. Well...who am I kidding, it's not the first time you did this. I guess the worst part is not even telling me personally...

Well honestly I still had a fun night, although everytime I smile, I just wish in my heart you'll be the one making me do it.

 No one knows this probably, but I know that if you ever come back to me, I'm afraid I won't be able to reject you. Wishful thinking on my part, don't blame me. Though you've hurt me, kinda makes me love you the same..~

La Risonanza IV ❤

Family ^^

Sopranos! (Well half of them haha!)

Anna Marie! Sopranos for life!

Dance partners! :D

To all the awesome people who came to watch La Risonanza IV yesterday ^^ I had a really wonderful time and it was because of you guys coming down to watch, I could pull through those hectic and tiring practices almost 5 days a week! Thank you all so much ^^ 

Oh and to KaiKang who was such a fun dance partner haha! 

Have I not moved on?

I thought it'll be easy really cause the thought of you and the memories though still there so vivid, is numb.

But once I'm faced with the issue on relationships again suddenly everything starts to shut slowly. Even a hint, a glance, I'm so edgy. 

I can still love like of course. But ability is different from wanting.

I'm far far far away from opening up to anything or anyone (I mean not like I would have to right?) cause when something  triggers, I know I don't have the energy to give the same kind of love to another human how I gave to you. 

It sounds so pessimistic honestly, I don't plan to shut down.

But I can't help it, I've tried and it sucks. It sucks that till right now my mind can't help but drift to certain memories. Memories that I want to relieve again, the infinite 'I Love You's I want to say, to just look at you like how I do everytime we meet....

It sucks big time to be in this situation where I'm just thinking about you, and it scares me. Have I not moved on?

Dogs

I feel lonely sometimes even when people are around me. Even when I'm smiling or laughing for that period of time, afterwards 'reality' dawns on me again. Sounds emo LOL but doubt I'm the only one feeling this haha.

I mean people can make you smile, but not everyone loves you.

Dogs are different. Though they aren't great creatures to converse with in words, something in them seems to make me feel better. Probably why I always wanna be with them when I'm feeling not myself. Dogs really are creatures that when you look at them, just a little effort (way less than humans) you can earn their acceptance and a pat on the head or chest shows them love. And manz you know they love you no matter what haha.

And of course, being with a dog gives me time to just dwell on things or sometimes gives me space for my mind to literally go blank haha.

Such a random post (well aren't all my posts this random?) 

I keep staring at the poem I wrote, I think it's the first and sweetest one. It was suppose to be given to you on 26 May....but now it's just here in my hands and what I wrote for a month will never mean anything to you anymore..