Alevels are tomorrow!

I am utterly blessed and super touched (cried so many times today) by all of your messages, notes, and this pretty bouquet of flowers ^^

Feeling so vulnerable, emotionally and mentally tired these few weeks. But you guys have been my strength and lifted me up whenever I'm down and I am really so so grateful. I thank you dear Father for the numerous blessings you have endowed me with.

I honestly can't think of what to say or how to express how touched I am but thank ya'll all so much ^^

I can't wait to grow up with you guys even till the day we get married/have kids and grow old really. 

Josiah cell, I'll cherish every moment of every day ❤️ I love of all ya'll ^^

To you:

To my sweet darling. I thank God for you almost every other day.

I don't think I've ever felt this tingly warm feeling with anyone else. 

It's wonderful to know that you'll always be next to me, protecting me and being there for me (: 

I love you so much darling ^^ 

Happy Sunday ^^

Wheee

Took me a while...

I guess it took me a while to realise what living a life of simplicity means.

In the most tangible sense, would be the lack of money, the need to stand up and support others, and really never to rely on myself.

Have been apart from PFU for a while now, sometimes feeling like I'm not a part of them anymore. Well...different times different seasons and I think I slowly am trying to understand (:

I thank God for allowing me the space to concentrate on family. To just be here to grow with my family, to go through the many trails together. Also, to spend time with my darling Ben, to always be learning and supporting and encouraging one another. To build a community we share together. And also, to concentrate on my studies to find out how to rely on God in such times as well.

I guess I have the tendency to think about myself (probably most of us do). Wondering why my secondary school friends don't even bother to ask me how I'm doing (because yea manz I'm going through so much but none of them realise actually lol) 

And yes I'm afraid...probably I distant myself too because of money issues. I just can't afford to spend more than $15 a day or something I don't know

But then...why should they know? It isn't the right time and yes it probably isn't because...

I think I really accepted the fact of moving on and not trying to fight my own battles or placing myself in battles I wanna try to fight. If I shouldn't be there then I just shall not be.

I thank God for community and for loved ones that are always there, because they are the ones I know God have placed in my life to guide, instruct and love me (:

It's not easy, but why should it be? It's gonna be a journey that's what it'll be. 

Life ain't smooth sailing at the moment

But I guess it makes me wanna work harder, pray harder, rely so much more on Him. 

Because...I really can't get through all these things by my own

Friends for life

Through the laughter, tears and joy

I pray that we will draw ever closer to one another, and come to witness how our friendship would bloom ^^ 

Love ya Tiffy! ❤️

New cup! Haha

Hehehe always wanted this CookieMonster cup. Not just because it's cute (which is a huge factor) but also because my cup is dirty and old LOL

The face inside is so cuteeee :3

Hahaha thanks dear for getting for me ^^

Always learning and loving

Communication is very important in a relationship.

Talking about things that are awkward and not really nice to hear issues are important.

But of course you gotta have love. Because we are bound to be tactless at times, approach certain problems and conflicts the wrong way and disappoint and hurt the one we love.

That is why when you really love and care for that person, and your relationship, things are bound to work out with great joy in the end ^^

I love you my darling Ben!! ^^ ❤️

Post Prelim holidays!

The selfie sucks but whatever tryna get my unruly fringe outta my face.

ANYWAYS post-prelim break was something I really needed I guess. Being able to just sit and not have to plan what to revise next is quite amazing HAHA. Plus, I got to do random things that I enjoy and writing cards to people too haha

I'm glad I got to catch up with JC friends, and church ones as well ^^ 

I can definitely say I've had plenty of rest mentally. But emotionally...not really heh. First day after my last paper had some misunderstanding and disagreements with Ben...church friends are struggling with family issues and same for myself. JC friends having a pretty rough time in Uni. And honestly, hearing all these ain't really nice.

Well, still thankful for this break and I really pray that my results I'm getting back next week would go well and I really want to see improvements for every subject honestly. Leave it all in yor hands God, teach me along the way as well.

Hope everyone is doing ok! (:

Self pity?

Enough of self-pitying 

It consumes you and gives you no way out but digging yourself deeper into sadness.

I see so many people telling themselves after a break up that they'll never love again, it's hard to do that, I don't feel the same anymore, I won't ever find another, I am not fine, I will never heal, things won't be the same.

Yea sure things will not be the same, you may not be fine now, you may not be healed now. But seriusly stop the self-pity

Cause self-pitying is pride. 

Telling the world that hey everything is about me. I can only receive love, and my love is so precious that once I gave it to this girl or that guy none of that love is left in me. 

Really? Your love is so special? You sure?

What makes you think that you're so untouchable? 

It's so easy to be in self-pity and be stuck there and sucked into that cycle. I wouldn't expect anyone to heal right away from hurts. You need friends, community, God to heal you. Trust me I've been there I've done that and self-pitying is not the way to go.

But fine if you want to stay there and believe that you'll never get out of that feeling. Feelings lie. Fine if you want to create yourself into someone you wouldn't want to be just because of a breakup. Seriously...stop being so prideful.

Because there are a million and one people out there who needs your love, a milion and one animals out there who needs your care. Life ain't about you and finding a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Yes it hurts (trust me I know).

But honestly there's so much more.

And God has so much more for you.

Thoughts~

Maybe it seems bias to say this, but...

I'm not in a life or death situation

Neither am I going through some crisis

But I really thank God for those that still talk to me, encourage me through my JC journey.

To my cell (this constant community that I am certain I would have and be with the rest of my life), to Berek (whom I believe does not fully understand what JC life is all about, but hey somehow he is always there and telling me to study hard yet chill haha, and make me laugh.That's just really nice), and of course to my sweet darling Ben (always here to talk to me, to pray for me and to brighten up my day) 

Seems awfully selfish to focus only on what people are doing for me. But...it's still nice to have it (: and I thank God for that.