Stupidity

All the lies you threw at me. The excuses you gave which I dumbly believed and trusted you enough to think they were explanations. 

The more I think about it the more the bitterness grows. Oh God how can I stop this from happening? It is not wrong to be angry but yet I feel so stupid...lacking of self-respect, dignity, and was just plainly an object of pleasure and fun in his eyes...

I was used, played with, performed with. Why? Why do things have to go this way to crush not only the emotional side of me but my confidence and self worth? It's just such a weird feeling. Gahh how and why was I so freaking dumb.