Have I not moved on?

I thought it'll be easy really cause the thought of you and the memories though still there so vivid, is numb.

But once I'm faced with the issue on relationships again suddenly everything starts to shut slowly. Even a hint, a glance, I'm so edgy. 

I can still love like of course. But ability is different from wanting.

I'm far far far away from opening up to anything or anyone (I mean not like I would have to right?) cause when something  triggers, I know I don't have the energy to give the same kind of love to another human how I gave to you. 

It sounds so pessimistic honestly, I don't plan to shut down.

But I can't help it, I've tried and it sucks. It sucks that till right now my mind can't help but drift to certain memories. Memories that I want to relieve again, the infinite 'I Love You's I want to say, to just look at you like how I do everytime we meet....

It sucks big time to be in this situation where I'm just thinking about you, and it scares me. Have I not moved on?