Change. I feel strongly about

Change is good. It can be uncomfortable (I'm not a big fan of change), but when change is for the better then of course, why not? 

It's sad to see that certain mindsets still remain the same after a long period of time. You mean you're still seeking fun, excitment and 'ways to keep you from being bored' when choosing a church to go to? That fun and excitement can come from the music, the people, the activities. But all these are just short lived. Are you gonna just be hyped up every Saturday/Sunday and then the next 5-6 days you're just 'sian' or 'sailing along in life'?

And then comes the purpose of going to church in the first place. I mean even till now you're worried about awkwardness, about looking good? What's the purpose of going to church anyways? To find something to do? No.

It's not just 'you, you, you' in this world. We were meant to build a community (and that means taking the initiative, taking steps and moving YOURSELF instead of expecting others to tolerate you and move you) this world doesn't revolve around you...

Community is important.

And of course to know more about God, to serve, to be a humble servant who comes excited even without hyped up music, flashing lights, but to just come and worship and praise God. Because whatever your mood is God DESERVES the highest Praise and Worship. Our mood should not define whether we should worship God today or not. There's a big difference (or maybe a thin line) between a God-centered worship and a Man-centered one. It's easy to get sucked into self-induced emotional feelings. Think you're not? Think again to make sure. Worship without the Word is almost useless. 

Doctrine over devotion. 

Truth tanscends tunes.

But all these can be encouraged by friends, and of course being convicted to do so. But ultimately no one can do anything if you yourself are too lazy to do anything to help yourself, thinking that situations are always awkward, caring more about yourself than others, all talk but no action.

I think what starts it all is really just a choice, and being committed enough to stick to that choice. With that choice comes self-motivation and slowly community, realisation and clarity would come along.

I'm not saying that the immediate effects of wanting to learn so much about God, or there should be happiness and excitement every single day. But if that choice comes we'll see that things will really start to change, and not just being stuck in the same laziness or mindset as you were 2 years ago (maybe even 4).